The Flawed Analogy of the Snake Bite: When Emotional Bypassing Masks Accountability

A cheater may use an analogy such as this in popular emotional rhetoric to defend their behaviour or avoid responsibility:

If you’re bitten by a snake, you don’t waste time chasing the snake; you focus on treating the wound.

This might seem like sensible advice at first. It’s tidy. It’s practical. Instead of pursuing justice or closure, it enables the harmed individual to concentrate on their own recovery. However, this analogy is a glaring oversimplification of human nature and the ethical consequences of treachery. Relationships between people are not, in fact, random occurrences. They are based on moral commitments, deliberate decisions, and reciprocal trust.

1. Snakes Don’t Owe You Loyalty—People Do

According to the analogy, a cheater is like a poisonous snake—a ferocious, instinctual animal. However, people are not snakes. A cheater cheats despite being aware of the emotional repercussions of their betrayal, just as a snake bites out of instinct or fear. Comparing oneself to a snake is an avoidance of human responsibility, not an act of humility.

A person in a relationship agrees to emotional responsibility. A snake doesn’t promise to love, to commit, or to care. A cheater does—and then chooses to betray it.

2. Healing Is Not the Same as Forgetting

Yes, healing is important. But healing does not require suppressing questions, emotions, or truths. In fact, healing often depends on understanding the wound’s origin, recognizing red flags, and finding meaning in the experience.

Preventing someone from asking “why” is like robbing them of closure, reflection, and self-regeneration. It’s like asking them to accept emotional abuse without any context – something no psychologist would ever endorse.

3. This Analogy Prioritizes the Offender’s Comfort

It’s no coincidence that this analogy is often shared by the one who cheated, or by those who wish to defend their image. It’s a clever narrative that makes the victim look weak for seeking clarity, and the offender look wise for “moving on.”

But emotional maturity does not lie in deflection. It lies in owning one’s actions, sitting with the discomfort, and facing the hurt you’ve caused. If the cheater uses this analogy, it’s likely to silence the victim and dodge guilt—not to help them heal.

4. True Guilt Is Not a Weapon—It’s a Mirror

Guilt, when genuine, is not something to avoid. It’s a mirror that reflects moral wrong doing. The cheater should feel guilt—not to be destroyed by it, but to be transformed by it. To deny guilt or reframe betrayal as a “wound to treat” rather than a wound that was inflicted is a psychological form of gaslighting.

5. Conclusion: Humans Are Not Snake Bites—They Are Stories

Every betrayal tells a story. To ask someone to “just treat the wound” is to deny them their right to process, to feel, and to understand. Healing doesn’t mean you chase the cheater forever—but it absolutely means you can seek accountability, demand emotional honesty, Say what they did to you and reject shallow analogies used to mask cruelty.

How Cheating Kills a Human Being – Not Just a Relationship

• It shatters trust in self and others — the cheated person begins doubting their worth, their instincts, even their reality.
• It kills self-esteem — turning a once-confident human into someone who questions if they were ever enough.
• It triggers anxiety and sleepless nights — the mind replays lies and moments, trying to make sense of something senseless.
• It causes physical health to decline — appetite fades, the body weakens, stress manifests in sickness and fatigue.
• It turns love into trauma — something once beautiful becomes a source of panic, fear, and emotional scars.
• It isolates the victim — shame, embarrassment, and confusion force them to retreat from others, feeling like they’re the problem.
• It makes them carry pain alone — while the cheater moves on with excuses, the victim is left picking up shattered pieces of their identity.

Snakes Are Still Better Than Cheaters

• A snake bites once. A cheater lies every day.
• Snakes don’t pretend to love before striking.
• A snake has no promises to break. A cheater does.
• Snakes act on instinct. Cheaters act with intent.
• You can see a snake coming. A cheater hides behind smiles.
• A snake’s venom hurts the body. A cheater’s betrayal crushes the soul.